We Will Never Be Here Again

We are going to die.

And that makes us lucky. Most people will never die, because they will never be born. The people who could potentially have been here in our place, but who will in fact never see the light of day, far exceed the number of grains of sand in the Sahara Desert.

Without a doubt among those unborn spirits there are poets greater than Keats or scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of people our DNA allows for massively exceeds the set of people that exist. Despite this overwhelming small possibility, it is you and I, in our normality, who are here. — Richard Dawkins.

Reflecting on our own mortality is something gloomy and terrifying, without a doubt, but essential to appreciate the value of life.

In modern life, with our routines and our hustle, it is inevitable to go like headless chickens many times. Do you know the phrase that life is like riding a bicycle, that if you stop pedaling you will fall?

It seems absolute stupidity to me.

Precisely slowing down and stopping to think is what makes us appreciate things. Something that can help you appreciate the value of life is to remind yourself that you are going to die. Memento mori. That it is inevitable and that is precisely why you want to take advantage of this short time that you are going to be here.

Death makes our lives important and meaningful. Create priority. It gives us the perspective to focus on what is truly important in our lives.

I usually imagine that life is like an amusement park. I know that it closes at nine and that I will have to go. But in the meantime, I’m going to have a good time, ride all the attractions I can and enjoy every moment.

There is a Stoic exercise, perhaps a little drastic, that I learned in the book How to be a Stoic by Professor Massimo Pigliucci that is very useful for reflecting on death. It consists of going to a cemetery and walking around reading all the tombstones, one by one. It seems obvious, but to think that all these people have lived, with their pluses and minuses, an entire life and have ended up in the same place, is a tremendous exercise in humility. It’s a reminder. In the end it is true what they say that when the game ends, the king and the pawn return to the same box.

I don’t force you to do this exercise, but I do encourage you one day, perhaps while taking a walk, or perhaps while sunbathing in the park, to ask yourself: I know I’m going to die. What does it mean to me to be alive? What do I want to achieve in my life? What purpose does it serve? What principles govern my decisions?

To get the answers you need, you first have to ask the right question.

You probably won’t find an answer right away. That’s more exciting. That’s what the journey is about. And you will realize, as time progresses, that your answer to the same question is not the same. That will mean that you have grown.

The flowers bloom and then wither. The stars shine and one day they will go extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the universe itself will one day also fade into oblivion. Compared to that, human life is but a blink of an eye, a mere moment.

In that rare moment, people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are hurt, feel joy, sadness, hate someone and love someone. All of this in a single moment. And then they are embraced by that eternal sleep called death.

Look at the stars — they are not going to fix the economy. Wars are not going to stop. They are not going to give you marked muscles, or a partner, nor are they going to tell you what you have to do with your life. But they are important. They help us remember that we and our problems are both infinitely tiny, and at the same time, that we are fragments of a vast and incredible universe.

There are two ways of seeing life: one is to believe that miracles do not exist, the other is to believe that everything is a miracle — Albert Einstein.

Death is the end of all men! What is the value that a person leaves behind when they die? The wealth he accumulated and left for his heirs to fight over? The enemies he defeated? The status he achieved?

No. We fight here because we understand. The ending is the same. It is the path that separates men. No achievement has as great substance as the path taken to achieve it. The methods must adjust to the ideal they aim to obtain. We are not creatures of destiny. The journey is what gives us shape. No good can be achieved by false means. There are no shortcuts.

I have faced it every day of my life! Do you wonder why I don’t fear it? Because I have known all my life that death stalks me. Any moment could be the last. Everything is more beautiful because we are condemned. You will never experience this moment again, and that makes it more precious. We will never be here again.

But then, if we are going to die anyway, what’s the point of all this? Why love, suffer, dream or die?

The question is not whether we will love, suffer, dream and die. It is what we will love, why we will suffer, when we will dream and how we will die. Those are our decisions. We cannot choose the destination, only the path.

Do you think a book begins only to end? No, you read it to experience the emotion and sensations it evokes. To learn, surprise you, fall in love and break your heart.

Do you think a song starts with a nice chord only to have it end? No, you listen to that song to dance and sing at the top of your lungs. To cry and smile with the harmonies.

Yes, we are born with the inevitable destiny of death. But that’s just the end of the work. The final act, when the curtain closes. We are not born to say hello and leave the stage. We are here to love, enjoy, scream with emotion, move, learn, cry, suffer and feel. We are not born to die. We are born to live.

How strange the human being is! He fights with the living and gives flowers to the dead. He goes years without speaking to a living person and when he dies, he pays tribute to him. He doesn’t have time to visit a living person, but he stays a whole day at a wake. He does not call, he does not hug, he is not interested in a living person, but he mourns over a dead person. It even seems that the most valuable thing is death and not life.

Have you ever thought about how many times you have left to see the people you love most? Have you ever thought about when it might be the last time you see them?

If you knew it was the last time you were going to see a loved one, how would you be with that person? How would you behave? How would you listen to him? How would you look at him? How would you talk to him?

Knowing that your time in this world is limited, are you spending time with the people you love or with those you have been assigned by default?

Although you should live three thousand years and even ten times as many, always remember that no other life is lost than the one that is lived and that only the one that is lost is lived. Thus, the longest life and the shortest life come to be reduced to the same thing. The present moment that we live is the same for everyone; He who is lost is also lost, and this one who is lost comes to seem indivisible to us. And the past or the future is not lost; for what we do not possess, how could it be taken from us? — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.14

Reflect on how often you look for more than what you have. You want the past to be better than it was. You want the future to happen just as you expect. When you do that, you are neglecting the present moment. What an ungrateful gesture!

The only thing we have is this present, but it has an expiration date and expires very soon. But if you enjoy it completely, it will be enough. It can last a lifetime.

My grandfather told me when I was little to always live for the small, simple things in life. Live for the sunrises at six in the morning, where you can see unique colors in the sky. Live for the ecstasy of falling in love. Live for the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Live for the joy of raising a child. Living on mountain roads, whose soft breeze plays with your hair. Live for the days when you surround yourself with your favorite people, who help you remember that the world is not a cold and cruel place. Live for the small, simple things in life. Those are the ones that make you realize that this is what life is about. This is what it means to be alive.

We live in a world full of old books, sips of coffee in the middle of a conversation with a friend, music waiting to be heard and endless questions waiting to be answered. There are so many wonderful things surrounding us all the time, and we just need to stop and take a moment to appreciate it.

Please make sure that wherever you are in life, you do not treat it as a transitional period. Don’t waste your years in college, waiting to graduate and get a job. Don’t waste your single years waiting for someone to be in love with. When those things come, they will come in their time and they will be good.

But there’s nothing worse than looking back and feeling empty because you’ve wasted years ignoring something better. It is important to improve yourself and achieve your goals, but do not neglect the present because this is where you are now and this is where you determine your future.

Let us make happy, Epicurus proposed, the inevitable mortality of life.

— What do you think is the purpose of life?

— Live, I guess.

—Should we try to get something?

- Don’t know. Is there something really ours to achieve beyond ourselves?

A man cannot live well if he does not know how to die well. Life is a development project and death is its logical and natural goal. We have to know how to die in a dignified way that allows us to achieve peace of mind and that is a comfort to those who survive us. It is the ultimate test of character and principles.

I can’t escape death, but at least I can escape fearing it. Or will I die trembling? — Epictetus.

The fear of death is derived from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any moment - Mark Twain.

Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.

✍ ️ Practice: Now it’s your turn. Grab a piece of paper and a pen (note that this is an exercise that you are going to do a lot, it also works if you want to write it in Google Docs or Notion) and answer the following questions.

*How would I like to be remembered?

• What things do I want to leave behind?
• Do I want to have given more than I have received in my life?
• What things do I not want to regret when I am going to die?

Knowing that one day you will die:

• What would you dare today?
• What fear are you not facing?
• What are you leaving yourself undone?
• What would be your biggest deathbed regret?
• What is the first step that is within your control to take, no matter how small?
• What do you have to lose if you take that first step forward?
• What is the worst that can happen to you?
• How small does he become when you put him next to death?

Whatever it is, dare it. You only have one life.